Saturday, September 5, 2009

journal four
i met a young girl at work today.
ice cream down her cheek staring with her eyes
cold blooded red rose cheeks skimpy eyes of blue
forgetting it is now autumn falls she wears shorts
with a jacket coral grey winds come and go she moves not
but a swift move from her chair her fire color hair followed.
she was interesting she haunted my dreams she slept under my bed
she slept with me and she ate with me who was she i miss her
i tended to think of her day in to nights where i would sit where
i met her once or twice some sort of deja vu we had together
here i laid wide-eyed at my ceiling hoping as to when i
would meet her again her freckles never left my mind
her eyes her colors of bright joys when the day looked
grim with poison eerie lakes with fogs i walked through every
forest but i never found her again now i am restless.
she was perfect.
i have dreamt of having a little girl like her she looked
to me with her frowning eyes and happy smiles but nothing
to remember her by i wish i knew who she was i called her
firebrace because of her hair and freckled skin i wish
i was her for one second of my eternal life i want to change.
one morning at the cafe i smelled of pumpkin cinnamon coffee
and a perfume so memorable i knew i was here before when i was younger
when i had whim in my step with long flowing black hair why do i come here
i see an elderly woman sitting at a desk writing note on a paper
quietly scribbling away at her desk while she consumed her self in thought.
dear Elisa,
i know you were the girl i saw many years ago i was nothing but a fifteen
year old girl you looked a year older you had a small camera on your lap
you stared at me for many minutes before i walked out on you i wish i knew
who knew who you were it bothered me to not know why i knew you so well
but i know who you are know your names are in magazines and billboards
i want to be you. will you take my memories for me.
i ran over to her after Reading the note the kind dishwasher boy had brought me who had blushed deeply from seeing me i was only but a twenty five year old woman
who worked with cameras i was finally know for something i was finally told
i was better than many of those children who compared me to nothing but a number
i was like a goddess and they looked to me for inspiration just as i have done
i was not a zero.
i took her memories for her one by one they came from my Polaroid
still frigid from the years i have had it for so many years ago when no one
knew who i was over even cared about the little Indian girl who sat
quietly looking for no love but one she had it her hands when she was out
she was now the one you could say
untouchable when she was alone with her one true love i was no longer known
for a number on a scale i am someone i am not insecure for once i was happily married
with my one true love who still up to this day
rest its body in my hands.

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